The Stalking and Harrassment Support Center

Every person is unique, but when you face a challenge like being the victim of stalking or harassment, you are never alone.  Countless men, women and children have faced the exact same situation and have survived and thrived.  The following guide is designed to help you navigate your journey with the best information and resources that helped other survivors when they faced the same challenge. 

TSC has scoured the Internet and assembled links to the very best stalking and harassment resources: articles, blogs, forums and tools that can help you make better decisions and take action to overcome the range of physical, emotional and other challenges that you face.

As you’ll see, we always welcome your ideas and suggestions to make this Stalking and Harassment Guide even more helpful to survivors like you.   

JUST FOUND OUT 

Survivors Say: Best Resources for Stalking and Harassment

• The National Center For Victims of Crime: Stalking Resource Center
• Safe 4 All: Stop Abuse For Everyone - Are You Being Stalked?
• About: Stalking - Are You Being Stalked

The Big Picture

Early in 2009, the United States Department of Justice released a statistical survey of stalking crimes. The study found that 3.4 million persons declared themselves to be victims of stalking and this was just within a single year. This points to an alarming increase in stalking and harassment crimes. Victims of these crimes often find their lives turned upside down emotionally, physically and financially. They feel that they are to blame for this. Nothing could be further from the truth. Fortunately, there is a strong network of support both personal and legal that can help any victim of this type of crime. And make no mistake, it is a crime. There a definite determinations with regard to stalking and harassment that you should be aware of.

Stalking Behavior: Are You Being Stalked?

Being a victim of stalking and harassment doesn’t mean you’re in a hopeless situation. There are proactive steps you can take you protect yourself and family members. Always keep in mind that this is not something that will just go away and they you are not alone.

Safe Horizon: What Should I Do If I Am Being Stalked?

Being a Victim of Stalking and Harassment

Too often victims of stalking and harassment are results of failed relationship and bad break-ups. This doesn’t excuse the behavior but can complicate matters when it comes to resolving the issue. In extreme cases, the victim doesn’t know who might be stalking them. It’s important to be aware of all the signs and how to deal with them.

Life Script: 10 Signs That You Are Being Stalked - How To Recognize and Stop Stalking Behavior 

Because stalking and harassment is considered a crime that means it has to be handled from a legal perspective. Although stalking laws vary from state to state, there are generalities that can be applied when it comes to this form of criminal behavior.

The Free Dictionary: Stalking Legal Definition of Stalking

Your World

One of the first steps to take when you find yourself being stalked or harassed is to get a restraining order against the perpetrator. Not only does it put them and the police on notice but it’s a solid tool when it comes to protecting yourself. Violating a restraining order is a serious legal issue and is dealt with accordingly.

Linn County Oregon: Restraining Stalking [PDF]

Taking out a restraining order means you’ll have to be especially diligent when it comes to your activities and surroundings. And if the restraining order is violated you should act immediately.

Associated Content: What to Do If Your Stalker Violates a Restraining Order 

Stalking and Harassment Myths

• People who cry “sexual harassment” need to lighten up. They just can’t take a joke.
• If a stalking victim has not been threatened, she is likely in no danger.
• If you confront a stalker he or she will go away. 

Information and Recommended Links for Survivors

• Sexual Harassment Support: Stalking
• An Abuse, Rape and Domestic Violence Aid and Resource Collection

Different Types of Stalkers

Knowing the specific type of stalker who is harassing you can help you and law enforcement officials deal with them.

Rossier School of Education: Different Types of Stalkers

Cyber Stalking and Harassment

Being active on the internet in chat rooms and forum boards could possibly open yourself up to a deranged individual who decides to harass you. This is a new area of the law but one that is getting a lot of attention.

Wired Safety: Three Basic Type of Stalkers

Domestic Violence Stalking

Unfortunately, a large percentage of stalking crimes are the result of domestic break-ups. These types of harassment are compounded with children in the picture but there are still protective steps to take in order to keep your family safe.

Women's Health: Violence Against Women - Stalking

Possible Treatment

With incidents of stalking and harassment on the rise, there is more support available for victims. This can come in the form of counseling, emergency housing and therapy. Victims are encouraged to seek out whatever help they can find in their local communities.

University of Texas at Austin: Resources for Victims of Stalking

Hot Line Phone Centers

If you feel you are a victim of stalking or harassment, no matter how severe, it is easy to reach out to get the help you need. Beyond the immediate resource of calling 911 in emergency situations, legal professionals, trained counselors and social workers are just a phone call away.

Criminals Behind Bars: Resources for Stalking Victims 

Protection Tips

There are certain steps you can take to prevent stalking from escalating and perhaps protect yourself in the future. It all comes down to be proactive and not letting your stalker take control of your life.

Corporate Travel  Safety: Are You Being Stalked? Tips For Protection

Creating a support circle

• Set up your TSC Survivor Profile
  
• Join support groups of other survivors or set up your own
  
• Interact and provide updates on your profile or our forums
  

Health-care Resources

Often the victims of stalking and harassment can find themselves pushed to emotional extremes. Blaming yourself is a common side effect of being stalked. And thinking you can fix the problem on your own is precarious recovery plan. It is best to make professionals aware of your situation and let them direct you to the resources you need to combat this crime.

End Abuse: Action Center - The Facts on Domestic, Dating and Sexual Violence

The Emotional Roller-coaster

Once it becomes evident that you are being stalked or harassed you can experience feelings of being overwhelmed. It’s as if every move you make now must come under a new form of scrutiny. You have to rethink your daily routines and become totally aware of your surroundings at all times. Often you’ll feel powerless and feel that you are backed into a corner. Support groups are also important to maintain a healthy emotional state. Other than that, educating yourself on the reality of stalking and harassment and exposing yourself to books and stories written by those who have dealt with stalking and harassment in their past can help give you and your loved ones hope while dealing with his crisis.

Books Survivors Recommend

• Stopping a Stalker: A Cop's Guide to Making the System Work for You
  
• Surviving Stalking
  
• Sexual Harassment Handbook
  
• Surviving a Stalker: Everything You Need to Know to Keep Yourself Safe

What Survivors Wish They’d Known

Communicating with the Police and Your Friends and Family

• If you are the victim of a stalker, notify the police right away. Any arrest can only be made after an official notification.
• Document every incidence of harassment from unwanted phone calls, visits, emails, text messages etc.
• Tell your family, friends and co-workers about the stalker and harassment. Make them aware of who the individual is and to be on the look out for them.
  

Monadnock Center for Violence Prevention: If You are Being Stalked

Dealing with Stalking and Harassment: Information and Recommended Links for Co-Survivors

How you can help

• Assist your friend or family member with their day-to-day duties. Helping to change up their daily routine is a good form of protection.
• Perform a check of all locks on windows and doors to help foster a sense of safety.
• Involve your friend or family member with others. Don't focus exclusively on the stalking or harassment when interacting with them. Talk to them about yourself or make plans to visit friends and loved ones. A survivor involved with others has a better chance of avoiding feelings of abandonment.

What to say   

• "You’re not in this alone and it isn’t your fault.”
• "Have you talked to the police?”
• Tell them how much you care about them
  

What not to say

• "You must have done something to cause this."
• "Just ignore him and he’ll go away."
• “Confront him yourself.”

Things you can do for a survivor every day

Offering day-to-day support is a great gift to give a family member who is being stalked or harassed. Encouraging them not to feel isolated and helpless is a great benefit. 

How to build a support network

• Set up your TSC Co-Survivor Profile
• Create a support group for your friend or family member.
• Interact and provide updates

How to help a survivor deal with day-to-day challenges

• Information service for stalking victims: Stalk Victims Information Service
• Site started by other survivors of stalking and harassment: Angelfire: Survivor's Empowerment Zone

After the arrest of your stalker and successful criminal prosecution your recovery process can begin.  Assess and share with others how you feel emotionally, mentally and spiritually. By telling your story, you can not only put into perspective your thoughts and feelings but you can provide hope to others who are going through a similar journey themselves, whether it be with stalking or any form of harassment.

Recovery

Emotionally dealing with the resolution of a stalking and harassment incident is difficult in that there might still be uncertainty of whether you are completely safe. Check out this site to find victims and counseling views on surviving stalking.

Domestic Violence Resource Center: Stalking

Give back

What helped you while you were dealing with the stalking and harassment incidents? Take a look back at your journey and share with other what helped you and what you wished you would have known/done during your experience. You can create a profile, reach out to other survivors, join support circles or share your story by following the links at TheSurvivorsClub.org. Check out this online support group for victims of stalking: Stalking Victims

In extreme cases of stalking and harassment you may be force to seek temporary shelter. This could actually be a positive step towards seeking the help and protection to might need. You’ll find yourself surrounded with caring and supportive individuals who have shared experiences.

Open Directory Project: Violence and Abuse - Shelters

Additional online resource centers are available nationwide.

Yahoo Directory: Shelters