The Sexual Abuse Support Center

Every person is unique, but when you face a challenge like sexual abuse, you are never alone.  Countless men, women and children have faced the exact same challenge and have survived and thrived.  The following guide is designed to help you navigate your journey with the best information and resources that helped other survivors when they faced the same challenge.  

TSC has scoured the Internet and assembled links to the very best sexual abuse resources: articles, blogs, forums and tools that can help you make better decisions and take action to overcome the range of physical, emotional and other challenges that you face.

As you’ll see, we always welcome your ideas and suggestions to make this Sexual Abuse Guide even more helpful to survivors like you.    

JUST FOUND OUT  

Survivors Say: Best Resources for Sexual Abuse

• MedLinePlus: Child Sexual Abuse
  
• Child Welfare Information Gateway: Recognizing Child Abuse and Neglect - Signs and Symptoms
• HealthyPlace: Sexual, Physical, Psychological Abuse

The Big Picture    

According to the National Committee for the Prevention of Elder Abuse, “sexual abuse is any form of non-consensual physical contact. It includes rape, molestation, or any sexual conduct with a person who lacks the mental capacity to exercise consent.”

National Committee for the Prevention of Elder Abuse: Sexual Abuse

Your Sexual Abuse

To better understand your specific case of sexual abuse, determine whether it is violent or non-violent. From the WebMD Sexual Abuse Overview, you can learn more about sexual abuse:

WebMD: Sexual Abuse or Assault (Rape) - Topic Overview

Your World

After experiencing sexual abuse, it's understandable to experience a flood of emotions. It's important to talk with your loved ones and reach out to support centers during the initial stages of your journey. For advice on dealing with the tangled web of emotions you may be going through, visit:

HealthyPlace: Sexual, Physical, Psychological Abuse

Sexual Abuse Myths

• It's not sexual abuse unless intercourse is involved.
  
• Child molesters molest indiscriminately.
  
• If my child were being abused, I would know it.
  

Information and Recommended Links for Survivors

• HealthyPlace
• WebMD: Sexual Abuse or Assault (Rape) - Topic Overview
• American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: Child Sexual Abuse

Types of Treatment

Therapy

Some form of psychotherapy is generally called for in cases of sexual abuse. To find a mental health organization directly, visit:

CDC: Mental Health - Organizations by State

If your child was abused, know how to speak to him or her about the situation:

Geocities.com: Helping Children

Creating a Support Circle

• Set up your TSC Survivor Profile
• Join support groups of other survivors or set up your own
• Interact and provide updates on your profile or our forums

Insurance Matters

When sexual abuse results in visits to doctors and hospitals, it is important to know exactly what your insurance rights are. Check with your insurance company and healthcare provider to make sure medical bills for sexual abuse are covered.

Healthcare Providers Who Can Help

Professionals that generally treat sexual abuse include medical doctors that perform physical exams and mental health professionals that can provide counseling and mental health treatment. Pediatricians that specialize in these areas are also available for treating children with sexual abuse. Healthcare coverage plans will refer you to these professionals for a consultation.

If you are raped, your first step should be to go to a hospital. There, doctors can help you with pregnancy prevention measures (if necessary), with protecting yourself against potential sexually transmitted diseases, with administering "rape kits" -- which test for DNA and can identify your perpetrator -- and with treating any physical injuries. From the hospital, you can also call the police.   

FamilyDoctor.org: Rape 

Resources to Find Specialists

WebMD offers help with choosing and contacting sexual abuse professionals:

WebMD: Sexual Abuse or Assault (Rape) - Other Places To Get Help

The Emotional Rollercoaster

Surviving with sexual abuse can be an incredible challenge. Many survivors panic and break down under the stress of battling sexual abuse. To avoid this, it's important to continue living your life normally, participating in the same daily activities you've always done. Support groups are also important to maintaining a healthy emotional state. Other than that, educating yourself on the reality of sexual abuse and exposing yourself to books and stories written by those who have dealt with sexual abuse in their past can help give you and your loved ones hope while dealing with his crisis.

Books Survivors Recommend

• Above His Shoulders: A true account of sexual abuse, its impact on relationships, and the emotional survival and healing
  
• Helping Victims of Sexual Abuse: A Sensitive Biblical Guide for Counselors, Victims, and Families
  
• Man of Ashes
  
• My Body Is Special: A Family Book about Sexual Abuse (Elf-Help Books for Kids)
  

What Survivors Wish They’d Known

Communicating with Your Healthcare providers

• Bring a friend or family member with you to medical appointments not only to provide support but to lend an extra ear to understand everything your healthcare provider has to say and to think up any more questions you may not realize are important at the time.
• Don't be afraid to ask any questions you feel you need the answer to, even if you may be scared of the answer. Ignorance won't help you deal with this situation.
  
• Write down any questions you may have ahead of time and the answers to those questions as your healthcare provider walks you through them.  Don't be afraid to ask for clarification on anything.

Dealing with Sexual abuse: Information for Co-Survivors         

How you can help

• Assist your friend or family member who has been the victim of abuse or who is the parent of an abuse victim with their day-to-day duties or chores, but be sure to find a good balance so as not to throw off their pattern of living, which may increase their stress as they may feel they are becoming a burden.
• Preserve your friend or family member's daily activities. It's normal to feel protective but excluding survivors from activities or decisions you don't see them as fit enough to do or make contributes to feelings of helplessness.
• Involve your friend or family member with others. Don't focus exclusively on the sexual abuse when interacting with them. Talk to them about yourself or make plans to visit friends and loved ones. A survivor involved with others has a better chance of avoiding feelings of abandonment.

What to say    

• "We can talk about this whenever you are ready, if you want."
• "Remember that this is not your fault."
• "I'm here to help."
  

What not to say

• "It's in the past, let it go."
• "Are you really sure you were abused?"
• "Everyone has a sexual encounter that they regret."

Things you can do for a survivor every day

Offering day-to-day support is a great gift to give a family member or friend who has been the victim of sexual abuse. Just being there to lend an ear or simply to be a friend can be the greatest gift that you can give to a survivor.

How to build a support network

• Set up your TSC Co-Survivor Profile
• Create a support group for your friend or family member.
• Interact and provide updates

After starting to recover from sexual abuse, assess and share with others how you feel emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Recovery can be a lifelong struggle. By telling your story, you can not only put into perspective your thoughts and feelings but you can provide hope to others who are going through a similar journey themselves, whether it be with sexual abuse, another form of abuse, or a completely different trauma.  

Recovery       

Emotionally dealing with recovery from sexual abuse is difficult iin that the scars and memory of the abuse never fully go away.

Committee for Children - Dealing with Abuse

For a story of a sexual abuse survivor and the feelings she experienced during her abuse and recovery, take a look at:

HealthyPlace: Sexual Assault, Rape Survivor Stories 

Give Back

What helped you while you were dealing with the abuse, undergoing treatment and realized you were recovering? Take a look back at your journey and share with others what helped you and what you wished you would have known/done during your sexual abuse experience. You can create a profile, reach out to other survivors, join support circles or share your story by following the links at TheSurvivorsClub.org.

Check out one of the best charities for supporting sexual abuse research or offering support to survivors:

RAINN

For advice on overcoming challenges related to death from abuse from both a survivor and a co-survivor perspective, whether they be emotional, physical, spiritual or legal, read through:

Find Counseling for Abuse