For more than 20 years I was baffled by the wild swings in my mood and outlook on life. I ran marathons, hiked, mountain biked, spoke to thousands, built a fence in my yard, etal. Then, it was as if the roof would cave in. Darkness, fear, paranoia, etc. Not until 10 years later was I diagnosed with bipolar disorder. That was after years of riding the roller coaster - gaining and losing jobs, spending money carelessly, needing to go through bankruptcy, moving from one location to another. Now, in 2009, I have been out of work for three months. Out of money completely...again. The difference today is that I have a support system around me - people who look out for me, care for me and help me get through. Sometimes I wonder how it is that one day I can be working at a fairly high level job, then the next day be out of work. I am a fighter. I keep getting up. I always have and always will.