When I was a freshman at the University of Missouri-Columbia, I took a course on Psycho-History, and for my research paper I studied the psychology of a survivor, reading books by Robert Jay Lifton and Elie Wiesel on survivors of Hiroshima-Nagasaki and the WWII concentration camps.  In 1999, I lost my 43-yr.-old husband to a massive heart attack.  Two years later, I lost both parents in a car crash.  And, in 2004, my then-10-yr.-old daughter was diagnosed with a massive brain tumor.  She had surgery that year, and when the tumor recurred, she had a second surgery in 2005, followed by 15 months of chemotherapy.  Although I had support from my two sisters and my circle of friends, ultimately--I realized--that it was up to me to keep myself and my two children together and focused in order to survive this greatest challenge of all.  It was the most difficult thing I ever had to do.  Worst of all was keeping at bay my fear that--since I had already lost three people closest to me--I would necessarily lose my daughter, too.  Looking back, the only way I got through this was to live day-to-day, one hurdle at a time, talking to family, friends, and co-workers, but also journal writing during my (mostly) private moments (and especially when I could not sleep).  My daughter is now 15 yrs. old and a high school freshman.  She is two years out of chemotherapy, and her MRIs are clear and stable.  Two years ago, as she was in the last third of chemo, I promised her that if I could get my 80 pts., I would take retirement to devote myself to her as she started 7th grade.  I was good on my word, and although the current economic crisis has reduced my finances, we are making ends meet, and I am enjoying the absence of stress from the job I held for 25 yrs., which was destroying my own health (I found out in 2007 that I have an auto-immune disease of the thyroid, which I am treating through daily medication).  Compared with the terrifying prospect of losing my beloved daughter, the current monetary crisis is insignificant.  I thank God every day that I still have her, and I am taking these days to consider the things I love to do and want to still learn in my life.  I am resolved to pursue all those things and see where life leads me.  When my daughter finally graduates from high school and moves on to college, I will consider moving back into the job market and continue pursuing the things I love to do, reasoning that it will make the world and me much happier and help me realize why I was put on this earth to begin with.  It is interesting to me that the psychology of a survivor began as a educational and conceptual study, but the experiences in my life caused me to put these concepts into action and the lessons I have learned have ultimately become far more poignant and significant.  I believe I am well on my way to connect the dots, to understand the reason for my existence.