The Domestic Violence Support Center

Every person is unique, but when you face a challenge like domestic violence, you are never alone.  Countless men, women and children have faced the exact same problem and have survived and thrived.  The following guide is designed to help you navigate your journey with the best information and resources that helped other survivors when they faced the same challenge.  

TSC has scoured the Internet and assembled links to the very best domestic violence resources: articles, blogs, forums and tools that can help you make better decisions and take action to overcome the range of physical, emotional and other challenges that you face.

As you’ll see, we always welcome your ideas and suggestions to make this Domestic Violence Guide even more helpful to survivors like you.    

JUST FOUND OUT  

Survivors Say: Best Resources for Domestic Violence

• Domestic Violence
• National Domestic Violence Hotline
  
• Medline Plus: Domestic Violence

The Big Picture

Domestic violence is a type of abuse. It involves injuring someone, usually a spouse or partner, but it can also be a parent, child or other family member.

Domestic violence is a serious problem. It is the most common cause of injury to women ages 15 to 44. Victims may suffer physical injuries such as bruises or broken bones. They may suffer emotionally from depression, anxiety or social isolation.

It is hard to know exactly how common domestic violence is, because people often don't report it. There is no typical victim. It happens among people of all ages. It affects those of all levels of income and education.

Medline Plus: Domestic Violence

To better understand the most common signs and symptoms of domestic violence, be sure to visit:

National Domestic Violence Hotline - Get Educated

Your Domestic Violence

Many people are unsure of whether or not they are a victim of domestic violence. Learn to better understand your unique case of domestic violence, whether it is physical, emotional or otherwise:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: Am I Being Abused?

Your World

After recognizing that you are a victim of domestic violence, it's understandable to experience a flood of emotions. It's important to talk with your trusted loved ones and reach out to support centers during the initial stages of your journey. For advice on dealing with the tangled web of emotions you may be going through, visit:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: Resources

If you're having problems figuring out how to tell your family or friends that you are a victim of domestic violence, you may want to first get support and tips from experts who can give you advice:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: Get Help

Domestic Violence Myths

• Domestic violence only happens in poor and minority families
• Domestic violence only happens to a small percentage of the population
• Domestic violence is a by-product of alcohol and drug use  

Information and Recommended Links for Survivors

• Domestic Violence
  
• National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
• Women's Center: Domestic Violence - Myths and Realities

Ending the Abuse

Safety Plan

Once domestic violence is recognized, it is important to formulate a plan to remove yourself from the situation. Putting together a safety plan can help:

National Domestic Violence Hotline - Safety Planning

Creating a Support Circle

• Set up your TSC Survivor Profile
• Join support groups of other survivors or set up your own
• Interact and provide updates on your profile or our forums

Insurance & Work Matters

Insurance Matters

When domestic violence results in visits to doctors and hospitals, it is important to know exactly what your insurance rights are. Check with your insurance company and health-care provider to make sure medical bills for domestic violence are covered.

Work Matters

Workplaces have a duty to report any suspected domestic violence. Some states also pay unemployment costs when a person is unable to work due to domestic violence. Find out whether or not you are entitled to unemployment if you have been involved in domestic violence:

NCSL: State Unemployment Insurance Laws for Victims of Domestic Violence

Health-care Providers Who Can Help

Emergency room doctors are the physicians that generally treat -- and identify -- domestic violence. Know how you can use a visit to the emergency room as part of your safety plan:

eMedicineHealth: Domestic Violence - Emergency Department Care 

Pediatricians that specialize in domestic violence are also available for treating children who have been victims of domestic violence.

Mental stress also occurs in cases of domestic violence, and it is important to talk out your feelings with a mental health provider. Health-care coverage plans will refer you to these professionals for a consultation. After the consultation, a team of professionals that includes physicians and specialists will get involved in your treatment to aid in your recovery.

To find a mental health organization directly, visit:

CDC: Mental Health - Organizations by State

Resources to Find Professional Help

• A Safe Place Lake County Crisis Center Domestic Violence Shelter
  
• NCADV: State Coalition List
  

The Emotional Roller-coaster

Surviving domestic violence is a challenge emotionally. Many survivors panic and break down under the stress of battling domestic violence. To avoid this, it's important to continue living your life normally, participating in the same daily activities you've always done. Support groups are also important to maintaining a healthy emotional state. Other than that, educating yourself on the reality of domestic violence and exposing yourself to books and stories written by those who have dealt with domestic violence in their past can help give you and your loved ones hope while dealing with his crisis.

Books Survivors Recommend

• Healing the Trauma of Domestic Violence: A Workbook for Women
  
• Surviving Domestic Violence: Voices of Women Who Broke Free
  
• Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

What Survivors Wish They’d Known

Communicating with Your Health-care Providers

• Bring a friend or family member with you to your appointments not only to provide support but to lend an extra ear to understand everything your health-care provider has to say and to think up any more questions you may not realize are important at the time.
• Don't be afraid to ask any questions you feel you need the answer to, even if you may be scared of the answer. Ignorance won't help you fight this situation.
• Write down any questions you may have ahead of time and the answers to those questions as your health-care provider walks you through them.  Don't be afraid to ask for clarification on anything.

Dealing with Domestic Violence: Information and Recommended Links for Co-Survivors  

How you can help

• Be there for your friend or family member to offer support without being judgmental.
• Provide a safe haven for your friend or family member and assure them that it will always be available to them.
  
• Encourage your friend or family member to seek professional help for the situation.

What to say    

• "This is not your fault."
  
• "I'm here to help"
• "You don't deserve to live in fear."
  

What not to say

• "Everyone has domestic squabbles now and then."
• "You probably brought this on yourself."
• "Think about your children before you do anything to their father."

Things you can do for a survivor every day

Be available to talk with the survivor, whether on the phone or in person. Reassure him or her that you are a resource for them and help him or her find other resources that can get him or her through this challenging situation.

How to build a support network

• Set up your TSC Co-Survivor Profile
• Create a support group for your friend or family member.
• Interact and provide updates

How to help a survivor deal with day-to-day challenges

• Young People and Domestic Violence: A Safe Place: Domestic Violence Safety Tips and Facts
• Workplace and Domestic Violence: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: Workplace Guidelines

After getting out of a violent relationship, assess and share with others how you feel emotionally, mentally and spiritually. By telling your story, you can not only put into perspective your thoughts and feelings but you can provide hope to others who are going through a similar journey themselves.

Recovery

After leaving a domestic violence situation, it is important to know what steps to take to ensure your continued safety and make sure the violence really does stop permanently.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: After Leaving the Abusive Relationship

Emotionally dealing with recovery from domestic violence is difficult in that there may still be much to do psychologically, and the uncertainty of whether you are finally safe or not can provide continued stress.

Survivor's Empowerment Zone

Give Back

What helped you while you were dealing with the domestic violence? Take a look back at your journey and share with others what helped you and what you wished you would have known/done during your domestic violence experience. You can create a profile, reach out to other survivors, join support circles or share your story by following the links at TheSurvivorsClub.org.

Consider donating to a charity to support domestic violence research and the safety and wellbeing of other survivors:

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: Donate

Some domestic violence is so severe that it ends in death. It is important to know that no one brings domestic violence on him or herself or “asks for it.” It is important to know your choices and options and to talk to someone before the violence escalates to this point.

Visit this website to report your domestic violence and get help for getting out:

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence - Protect Yourself