Survivor Central Blog

November 10, 2010

Every year around the time Domestic Violence Awareness Month comes to a close, I’m left grappling with the same thought. For months, we plan conferences, host awareness events and black tie galas, fundraise, apply for grants, and adorn a room full of onlookers if we’re lucky enough to have gotten an invitation to serve as keynote, or take second stance to a less intriguing role—a fill-in for someone who couldn’t juggle the many requests received that month. We’re inundated with tasks and to-do’s and talks, working our hardest to celebrate, honor, make the color purple revered—all the while silenced by the mere thought that the color purple may never be as prominent. After all, how can we compete with 260 pound linebackers frolicking around a football field in pink?

I judge not, as I am amongst the many whom scurry in those 31 days, given my own story. I not only come from four generations of mothers and daughters who suffered and survived 60 plus years of domestic violence and abuse, but, I’ve committed my life to keep my granddaughter, Promise, from becoming the fifth generation. Her story is what inspired me to found Saving Promise—the first of its kind, a national domestic violence awareness brand to strengthen domestic violence as a national priority.

I believe the first step to making the color purple as prominent as pink is to get America involved and talking about IT - not only when we hear the tragedy but before the tragedy occurs. I believe we have to raise the bar, educate everyone, and remove the stigma that silences our families, our communities, our America. We must find a way to make the color purple recognizable in the public conscience in the same way that the color pink has been so effective for breast cancer awareness.

While I think we’ve done a tremendous job to elevate domestic violence awareness, we still have a long way to go. Oftentimes, I struggle with thoughts of “why is it that the color purple isn’t as prominent as pink?” “Why haven’t we been able to garner the same level of support for domestic violence that exists for that of breast cancer awareness?” The answer—because we have not mastered how to create a movement around this issue. We have not yet figured out how to lessen the stigma, the shame, the silence. We have not yet found a way to wrap the hearts and minds of America around this issue. Or could it simply be that we need to stop working in silos, come together as a collective force, and really, I mean really, launch a movement.

There are 365 days in a year (366 if you consider a leap year), and in those days, an average of three women are murdered by an intimate partner every day. And that's an average! There could very well be more. So if three women are murdered every day, not to mention the countless number of people whom are victimized day after day, then why is it that we don’t celebrate domestic violence awareness every day? Why is it only memorialized for 31 calendar days out of 365? Isn’t the cause worthy enough to do away with the idea of a Domestic Violence Awareness Month and reexamine this theory? This is the kind of thinking that keeps us from being able to move this issue forward and bring abou real change.

If we are ever going to get in front of this issue—be more proactive—then we gotta raise the bar!

As the founder for Saving Promise, it is my vision, my purpose, my life’s journey to ensure that I do everything in my power to raise the bar. An example of that is the first of its kind national domestic violence awareness tour entitled "Gotta Talk About It" that Saving Promise kicked off in September. We took this campaign to large malls in major cities across America. The goal of the tour, like many of the ground-breaking initiatives Saving Promise has planned, is to mobilize America around the issue of domestic violence.

The "Gotta Talk About It" tour, amongst many other initiatives raise the bar and is the vision I have for Saving Promise. That’s the vision I believe we all ought to have if we are ever going to see 260 pound linebackers frolicking around a football field wearing purple.

L.Y. Marlow, Author/Founder, Saving Promise

www.savingpromise.us

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