Ginger Vieira has lived with Type 1 diabetes and Celiac disease since 1999. At 25 years old, she has set 15 records in drug-free powerlifting with record lifts of 190 lb bench press, 265 lb squat and 308 lb deadlift. Today, Ginger is also a cognitive-based health and chronic illness coach at www.Living-in-Progress.com. You can find her YouTube Channel at www.YouTube.com/user/GingerVieira and follow her on Twitter at www.twitter.com/GingerVieira.
Two days ago I was walking through the hallway in my building and these two young women, probably both around 20 years old, were yelling at each other. One young woman was African American, the other was Indian.
"I don't like you! I don't like you!" one of them was saying.
The other said, "That's fine. I don't like you."
The first responded, "Listen, I don't like you. I DO NOT have to respect you."
Part of me so badly wanted to butt in and say something-anything. I know it wasn't my place, wasn't my conversation, wasn't my business, but I wanted to say, "You know, I'm pretty sure that's how wars start...just because we don't like someone makes us think we don't have to respect them!"
It's such an unfortunate line of thinking. Just because I have different beliefs or lifestyle from someone else doesn't automatically make it acceptable to not show that person respect. It was incredibly frustrating to listen to. On my way back from the mailroom it was still going on, and I kept my mouth shut.
When I think of the bullying that has been prevalent in the news-Pheobe Prince, Tyler Clementi, Jared High, April Himes, and Hope Witsell-it really does begin with the mentality that just because someone is different than us, it automatically leads us to think its okay to harass them, to treat them poorly, to disrespect them, abuse them, and walk all over them.
For some, it may be the fear of something unknown. When we don't know much about a person, a way of life, even a disease, we are afraid of it. And we might express that fear through cruelty as an unfortunate defensive mechanism.
In other situations, fear may have nothing to do with it. Someone it's as if we've decided in our heads that there is only one right way to live, and anyway living contrary to that way deserves no respect.
Meanwhile, we'd like to point the finger towards children and teenagers, but adults behave the same way. Adults, grown men and women with powerful positions in the world, are no different. It seems to be a quality of human nature to destroy each other for being different. Hating someone because they aren't just like we are. Hating someone because their own weaknesses and flaws are different than yours (because really, most cultures are mixed with its own version of self-destruction and ethnocentrism).
I certainly don't know the solution, but I do hope that education within schools continues to incorporate more and more programs focused on understanding the people around you, and understand that respecting the people around you shouldn't be a choice. Even when we don't understand or like a person, we still owe them respect. It seems like an obvious and important part of human survival.
